Blood with No Cause

Somehow, over the course of many centuries, the Israeli's and the Palestine's manage to stay retarded. I wish a President would just come out and say that. You're both fighting over a meaningless piece of land that has as much power as the DVD player that plays my copy of Pineapple Express. It's a piece of matter. It's not holy. You're both fighting over concepts. Sit with reality for a second and pull your collective heads out of your collective ass's.

Overall though, I'm on Israeli's side (I think) in this macabre battle of self-righteousness. The Israeli's seemed fairly content with letting Palestine have the Gaza Strip. A strange concession considering that this piece of land was basically what this whole thing was all about anyway. But still, I think Israel was willing to stop fucking with Palestine if they just Let It Be.

The Child President promoted democracy in the Middle East. Palestine had an election. They democratically elected a group that considered Israel a pest (at best) and vowed to conquer Israeli land in bloody fashion. Child President was upset. These are the flummoxes of Democracy. Especially in a small populace. Now he calls Hamas (Democratically elected mind you) a "terrorist group". Of course, he calls everything from PETA to Hillary Clinton's Chocolate Chip Cookies a terrorist group. Although this time he happens to be right. Hamas is a nasty, stupid, religiously founded terrorist group. The problem: Hamas is democratically elected!

This kind of stuff must really upset the Child President during his games of Monopoly.

Still, Israel decided they'd let Hamas run themselves into the ground as long as they discontinued their asinine, yet dangerous, random bombing attacks of Southeast Israel. And for the past 18-months, Hamas bizarrely acquiesced. Then came the random 75-80 missile attack day of a few weeks past. And like the Russians, if you poke the Israeli bear a few to many times, you’ll get the claws. That’s what Israel has been doing for the past couple of weeks: landing heavy body blows. All this Palestine craziness doesn’t even include the ammunition that they've been smuggling through tunnels from Egypt.

So here’s a memo for the Palestine people: If you don’t want your balls smashed in on a random basis, don’t elect a group of maniacs who are dying to destroy your heavily armed (American backed) neighbors. Welcome to Democracy. The Choices you make will either help you or hurt you.

And here’s a memo for Israel: Unless the Bill Cambelling becomes so bad that fatalities are constant, be cautious with these high civilian causality attacks. This is a war that has raged for millenniums, and the only way it’ll stop is if both sides manage to field very smart and rational people. Israel appears to be doing a fairly solid job in the arena, but Palestine clearly has not. However, bombing the shit out of random religious refugees isn’t exactly nudging the radical side of the Middle Eastern politics to the middle. It’s probably just doing the opposite. Ask Hezbollah. So unless you want to get real serious about this, and just take Hamas out period. Be cautious. Because fighting will never get this ridiculous thing settled, rationality will. And the world (the entire world) has been paying the price for this stupid battle for Millennia.

Time to move on. Time to join spaceship Earth. Both of you. I’m sure there were two primordial pre-humans that fought over whether it was a lemon tree or a maple that was the pure and true God, and they make as much sense as you do. So drop it. Try a little peace.

In the meantime American Left, stop defending Palestinians as innocent bystanders when they’re really willful cogs in an ongoing machine. And stop defending Israel (American Right) as simply protectors of their basic right to life, when in all reality they’re equally as willful players in this game of God and Land.