The Season Grows Near

So the Long Sunset has been quiet for a few weeks as I gear up for what will be a stupid and violent presidential campaign season. I don’t understand why the cable networks are already so fascinated with poll numbers: these guys haven’t even been nominated by their parties yet. But this is really going to get ugly and brutal. McCain’s already getting so dirty that he’s trying to get Midwesterners to believe that Bam Obama is actually a 25-year old with two overused vagina's named Paris Spears. It may be working.

But we’ve got miles to go, and at least a hundred more race cards to play. I’ve been resting. Watching from a distance. Tonight I depart on a quick tour up Interstate 95 towards North Carolina to get a feel for what these Southerners are thinking. As with any time I go out of my general zone, there will be plenty of drinking, plenty of stupidity, and lots of general mayhem. I’ve already been enlisted to captain a 29-foot pontoon boat for some bizarre drunken race on a deep North Carolinian lake. Hopefully, I’ll keep all my teeth.

After my conquest of the South, I’m off to visit the all important swing state of Costa Rica. Polls there have Astronaut Jose Maria Castro Madriz leading Tito Fuentes and a band of ghost conquistadors by only 2 ½ points. Bam Obama and McCain are currently tied at a distant third. But I’ll need to get a feel for the vibe there. McCain’s deep Central American ties could be obscured in such open polling.

More questions will be coming then answers. Random dispatches will be coming often by means of the MojoWire. Things are getting interesting, and reality loses hope around every corner.