The Panama Connection

(AP) Panama City- His aides are coy about it, he vehemently denies it, but there’s little doubt about it now: John McCain is a secret Panamanian. His Panama agenda has been clear from day one, and as the facts slowly emerge the electorate is being increasingly kept in the dark. In a garage near the dirty end of the Panama City Beltway a politico seeded deep within the bowels of the McCain campaign has begun to sing.

"You think they were satisfied with just getting the Canal back?” He snickered. “They want the whole goddamn Southwest. Why do you think he was a senator in Arizona of all places? Closest state to Panama.”

The picture is bleak but unnerving. Information is coming in daily, and it now appears clear that Senator John McCain attended a Mestizo temple along the coast of the Caribbean Sea. Pictures of a young McCain sacrificing goats and drinking the blood of former Aztec priests have been passed around the Beltway, but to this point have received little media attention. His influence within the Panamanian community is smothered, but clear, as a decades long plan to infiltrate the American government was launched in the 1970s in the slums of Los Aslentos. Some within the GOP were in the know, and some were simply not.

Ronald Regan felt the edges of the Panamanian threat creeping into Republican politics way back in 1983. He said of the canal at the time, “We built it. We paid for it. It’s ours”. But even Dutch couldn’t possibly imagine how deep the conspiracy had spread, and his threat was in vain. By then, McCain was already working on the contingency plans for the 1989 US Invasion Panama. The cover was to overthrow Manual Noriega, but in reality McCain hoped to put in place a government that could be transferred to D.C. when he wrapped his hands around the presidency some 20 years later. That time has now come.

“This thing has been in the works for years”, one source who pleaded to remain anonymous said. “They called him El Blanco Diablo when he was just a boy on the streets of Cocle. They feared and respected him.”

McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936 as a king to the locals. He quickly gained power through strong armed politics and in 1968 placed Arnulfo Arias Madrid as his puppet president. Madrid was overthrown in a bloody coup soon after, and some have pointed to a feud between Arnuflo and McCain as the primary tipping point.

“You really believe McCain got those scars from Vietnam? Phh. It was a knife fight at the steps of the capitol building in Panama City. I watched McCain choke Madrid with his bare hands. Vietnam was just a cover,” another source said.

How McCain has kept his Panamanian citizenship a secret from the campaign press is unknown. But as the campaign wears on the elderly GOP candidate has began to slip. At a recent campaign stop in Austin a visibly weary McCain seemed to let the cat out of the bag.

“We people of Panama have taken years of abuse, and our time to rise to power has finally come as the scripture says. We are the strong arm that holds the Americas together,” and at this point McCain began to weep slightly, “And for the first time in my life, I’m proud to be a Panamanian”.

The candidate was quickly whisked off-stage and into his caravan. Campaign aides cited “exhaustion”, and the few Texas reporters on hand were told to remain quiet on the incident. Most of the elderly crowd on hand were already napping. But audio of the event has leaked online, and some in the GOP fear it is only a matter of time before McCain’s Panama agenda comes to the forefront of the campaign.

"There’s a lot of chatter coming out of Central America right now,” an Idaho senator said, “We’re scared of what will happen if the Panama President gets in office. We could lose half the west.”

All eyes are directed south.


P.T. Oliveri for the Associated Press