Set That Juice Loose

So I haven’t seen white people this happy since the 3rd season of Dharma and Greg got renewed. All day; smiles, skipping, winks. How did people become so emotionally invested with this thing? How is “this us and them” mentality so deep? It’s like today was “Finally White People Stuck It to OJ Simpson Day”, and all the Pale’s were tickled whiter. It’s like they’ve been crossing their fingers and ignoring this low-level melodrama for the past 7 months it’s been going on. Just waiting for the sentencing day to celebrate and eat cake.

White people really hold a grudge when one slips away. I mean, Phil Spector, Beretta? Two celebrities who killed people and got away with it. No one cares. Phil Spector’s limo driver actually testified that Specter stepped into his limo, covered in blood, and nervously said “I think I just killed someone”. Not guilty. Beretta (Robert Blake) used the excuse that he couldn’t have murdered his wife because he was busy at the time going to his car to get his gun. Not guilty. Nobody cares. But OJ Simpson, that somehow was a national disgrace.

I mean, for one, I don’t understand how people get so psychologically connected to any of these media murders (patent pending). Be they Kaylee Anthony or OJ Simpson. People die all the time, but just because the story is great, or a celebrity is involved, that means you cry about it? It doesn’t make any sense. These are people you don’t even know, so other then the baseline tragic occurrence, why would you care?

Personally my punishment for Simpson: make Naked Gun 4. That would be my community service for him. All sins forgotten. Just give us another piece of cinema magic. I’ll give you and Leslie Neilson the secondary title, Naked Gun 4: Bob Would Have Wanted It This Way.

And just because I can’t get away from her in this godforsaken state (and because I’ve been mumbling this for month), I’ll say this about Casey Anthony: Good for you. You’ve tested the criminal justice system in way that no one has thought to before. She killed her kid, told no one for months, and then when the police found out and asked where the kid was she just said: I dunno. Awesome. Not guilty! The whole Anthony case is what got me going on this emotional involvement thing. Dumb rednecks within 500 miles went insane (and still are) when this story broke. So much so that the con-artist organization EquusSearch actually opened their first branch in Central Florida when they realized that the people around here were actually more dumb and gullible than those saps in Texas. Search Equusearch in Google. The second site that comes up: a way to donate money to them.

People give them hundreds of thousands of dollars to look for bodies of people they’ll never know. When there’s a million different charities worldwide that could help the living. Equusearch just buys a few ATVs, some snorkels, and the rest of the money is controlled by some guy in a cowboy hat. Only Anthony knows where she buried her kid, and if she isn’t telling, then who cares? Apparently, whole populations of people who treat the news like a reality show that they can just monitor.

Fuck!

Anyway, I haven’t posted anything for a while because, for one, it was hard to stop writing about politics. I now understand how Punxsutawney Phil feels on the other 364 days a year. And also because I’ve been busy writing some fiction, which takes much more time and effort then just drunkenly masturbating onto an internet page once a week. I’ll be posting some of it soon when it’s good enough (or acceptable enough). In the meantime, buy your books with cash, pound your conch, bye-bye and take care.